38 things not to say during sex

  1. Did I mention the video camera?
  2. You woke me up for that?
  3. Do you accept visa?
  4. On second thought, lets turn off the lights
  5. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
  6. Did I tell you that my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
  7. You look younger than you feel.
  8. You’ll still vote for me, won’t you?
  10. It’s just a little trick I learned in the zoo!
  11. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
  12. Why am I doing all the work?
  13. Do you think we should call a doctor for that?
  14. So much for mouth-to-mouth!
  15. When is this suppose to feel good?
  16. But whipped cream makes me break out.
  17. Try not to leave any stains, okay?
  18. Put that back in the kitchen where it belongs!
  19. A little rug burn never hurt anyone.
  20. You’re good enough to do this for a living!
  21. Woof! Woof! (Ireland)
  22. Baa! Baa! (Have a guess)
  23. That leak had better be from the water bed!
  24. I told you it wouldn’t work without batteries!
  25. If you quit smoking you’d have more endurance…
  26. No, really… I do this part better myself!
  27. Its nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate.
  28. Perhaps you’re just out of practice…
  29. Do you always sweat this much!
  30. They’re not cracker crumbs, it’s just a rash.
  31. Have you ever considered liposuction?
  32. And to think, I didn’t even have to buy you dinner!
  33. What are you planning on making me for breakfast?
  34. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
  35. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
  36. Please understand that I’m only doing this for a raise.
  37. Does this count as a date?
  38. Jelly or no Jelly, I said NO!