Actual Headlines

1. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

3. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

5. Stolen Painting Found by Tree

6. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

8. Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over

9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

11. Clinton Wins Budget, More Lies Ahead

12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

13. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

15. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

16. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

17. War Dims Hope for Peace

18. If Strike Isn`t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

19. Cold Wave Linked to Temperature

20. Enfields Couple Slain, Police suspect Homicide

21. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

22. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead

23. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

24. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

25. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

26. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

27. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

28. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

29. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

30. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors