Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites

FREE PUPPIES: ½ Cocker Spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbour’s dog

FREE PUPPIES… Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat … been out a while.. better be reward.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… Also 1 gay bull for sale

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby

NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened – used once

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.