How To Treat Her

A caring man is attractive
What do women want? For those who’ve ever pondered this question, BootsWebMD offers 19 relationship secrets. They’re based on the study of healthy, happy couples and our changing gender roles. Secret 1: women appreciate a man with a sensitive side, especially when they’re upset. Put your arm around her and hand her a tissue. Nurturing is a powerful way to connect.

Chivalry still has a place
When it comes to romance, many women do like men to take a traditional masculine role. This is especially true in the wooing stage of a relationship, according to psychologist Dr Diana Kirschner who’s written several books about love. A woman is perfectly capable of pulling out her own chair or opening a door, but if you see her hesitate, she might just be waiting for you to be a gentleman.

Figure out if theres a certain look that she likes
If she likes a guy in tight jeans, wear tight jeanas

Wear red – shirt tie etc – from clever testing by psychologists of women’s subconscious preferences. One intriguing study found that the colour red made men seem more powerful, attractive and sexually desirable to women

Don’t hide your flaws
Nothing captures a woman’s heart quite like a good man who wants to be a better man, according to love guru Diana Kirschner. “Women love personal growth; they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive.” She likes it when her man recognises a flaw – a short temper, for example, or a regularly sullen mood after work – and loves it when he makes an effort to address it.

Don’t try to fix her world
When something’s bothering her, she wants your ear, not your advice. “Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-orientated,” says Diana Kirschner. “But to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship.”

Nodding is not enough
Listening is important, but she also wants to know that she is being heard. Nodding along isn’t enough. When she pauses, she’s giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way, says Diana Kirschner. If she tells you that she is upset because her boss gave her a hard time, she wants to hear you say: “I’m sorry that work was such a pain for you today.” And remember: resist the urge to offer solutions

Safe sex is a turn-on
This is something both of you need to focus on, but Diana Kirschner says women appreciate it and feel more protected when the man makes clear that it’s a concern to him – and then shows her he practises what he preaches

Learn what she wants in bed
Women do like to talk about what’s going on in bed, and they want to please their man – and a tactful approach is often best. Ask her what she likes and ask for what you want in a positive way. Diana Kirschner advises saying something along the lines of, “I would really love if you [fill in the blanks].”

Mirroring is a barometer of love
Remember the saying “imitation is the highest form of flattery”? A woman often conveys how she feels about you by mirroring your moods and moves. She may order a meal that matches yours, wear your favourite colour, or smile or cross her arms when you do. Mimicking is her way of putting you at ease and letting you know she is charmed

Your shirt may be a love magnet
Does your partner curl up in your cricket jumper or sneak into your work shirt? Some researchers have found that the scent of a man’s perspiration has a relaxing effect on women.

Look your partner in the eye
You may feel more comfortable sitting side by side, but many women prefer face time – and we don’t mean the latest mobile video chat technology. Diana Kirschner says women prefer their men to make eye contact with them as they’re talking. Looking her in the eye during sex will deepen the relationship outside the bedroom

Romance is simple – keep it coming
Romance is something she will always want, whether you’ve been together two months or 20 years. Flowers, an intimate dinner, a few lines of love poetry – don’t worry, they don’t have to be your own – just Google some! It might sound like a cliché, but Diana Kirschner insists most women appreciate such simple romantic gestures and often show their appreciation after the lights go down.